Meetings 101: How to Attend a Meeting
There are countless articles on how to host better meetings (including the one I wrote!). But a skill that is less talked about, but equally important — is how to attend a meeting.
Respond to the Invite
If you’re invited to a meeting your first job is to respond to the invite.
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
Propose New Time.
There is a response appropriate for just about any situation.
But there is one response that is never appropriate: no response at all.
Don’t leave people hanging. Don’t make them guess if you are going to attend or force them to chase you down over Slack to determine your intent. Have basic courtesy and respond to the invite. A “No” is far more valuable than a no response at all.
Come Prepared
You may have been asked to do something prior to the meeting. Take the time to do that.
When you come to a meeting without the most basic preparation it sends the signal to everyone there that “I don’t respect you or your time.”
Read the document. Try the prototype. Watch the demo video. Do the work ahead of time so that the meeting can be spent accomplishing its purpose, not enabling your lack of time management.
Arrive on Time — Failing That Don’t Make A Scene When You Arrive
We’re all busy. We all have human bodies that need food and breaks. But be on time for meetings if you can.
We often have back to back meetings. People will sometimes try to keep a meeting going longer than its scheduled. And I get it: we are all trying to accomplish our goals. But when we make someone late for a meeting, it often causes a domino effect of lateness into subsequent meetings.
As a meeting organizer I try to put the official end time 5 minutes prior to the schelling point (Note: a schelling point is a game theory term for a solution that people tend to choose by default in the absence of communication. In this case it’s our tendency to schedule meetings starting on the hour or half hour, and ending them on the hour or half hour. It’s a generally unspoken convention to do so).
As a meeting attendee I emphasize at the beginning of meetings if I have a “hard stop” and when. Set the expectation with those in the meeting: “I have another meeting. Don’t make me late”.
And finally, if you are late to the meeting, enter quietly and refrain from disrupting the flow of the existing meeting. Don’t demand to go back. Don’t ask to review content that has already been covered. Show some humility and contact the presenter at another time.
Do NOT Hijack the Meeting
We all know this monster: the person who comes to a meeting about one subject but selfishly tries to turn the meeting into something to fulfill their needs.
DO. NOT. BE. THIS. PERSON.
I get it, friend. Schedules are difficult. Getting everyone you need in one meeting can feel like a fulltime job in itself. And it would be sooooooo easy to just start talking about your questions and product needs, while squashing the original intent of the meeting.
But you must resist this urge. Resist the darkness.
Not only is it incredibly disrespectful to the person who took the time to organize and prepare the actual meeting, but you will inevitably develop a reputation as that jerk that ruins other people’s work and hijacks their meetings.
Pay Attention
I wasn’t sure whether or not to include this “tip” or not, but I suppose it never hurts to reiterate: pay attention during meetings.
You accepted the meeting invite so it’s likely that you have something to gain by attending. Eliminate distractions. Silence your phone. Keep something nearby to fidget with if necessary.
And if you’re attending a meeting that it turns out you aren’t needed in, it’s okay to quietly leave. Our time is valuable and it’s better for everyone when we are allowed to make these basic decisions.
Teamwork Makes the Dream (And Meeting) Work
Meetings are meant to be collaborative. Meeting organizers must be prepared, but attendees must also do their part to make the most of the time spent.
Be additive. Be collaborative. Be present.
